Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is when people completely ignore, hide, or disregard negative feelings for the sake of #goodvibesonly. Refusing to acknowledge that bad things happen and people have bad days is incredibly unhelpful.
Toxic positivity can sound like:
Other people have it so much worse
Cheer up
It’s not that bad
Look at the bright side
Don’t cry
Stop being so negative
You’ll get over it don’t worry
You’re overreacting
At least you…
So you might be asking yourself, why is positivity toxic? Isn’t it a good thing to encourage people?
The problem with toxic positivity is that it invalidates all of the tough stuff someone is going through. And by minimizing what’s not going well, it causes a lot of shame.
It leaves people comparing their real life struggles to a fake version of someone else's reality. It makes them feel judged for being anxious, isolated, or sad. In reality, most of us are feeling these things right now. If others opened up more and acknowledged the struggles we're going through, I think we'd all feel more connected to our communities.
Next time you (or someone in your life) is having a hard time – don’t ignore it or push it away. Try saying something like this instead:
Everybody fails. It’s a normal part of growth
How can I support you?
It’s hard but I believe in you
It’s ok to not be ok
It’s ok to give up or switch directions. What’s your ideal outcome in this situation?
That must’ve been so upsetting
That sucks. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
The best advice I can give others is to speak your truth, openly and honestly. You will be surprised at how many people in your life understand what you're going through and are experiencing the same thing. There is so much power in that mutual understanding and connection.
It's okay to have bad days. Sometimes we just need to acknowledge it and sit in it. When we stop trying to stuff those feelings down, they lose some of their power.
P.S. I loved hearing all of your ideas for this week’s blog over on my Instagram. Send me an email or DM if you have other topics you’d like to learn more about!
Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as legal, financial, or medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional advice of your own attorney, accountant, physician, or financial advisor. Always check with your own physician, attorney, financial advisor, accountant, or other business or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
