5 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist
Perfectionism is holding you back. It's a never ending cycle that will always leave you feeling like you’re not good enough. Why? Because perfectionism is a myth. It doesn't exist. Literally nobody on this planet is perfect.
Before we jump into how to stop being a perfectionist, I want to make sure we're all on the same page with a simple question - what is perfectionism?
Hope & Motivation: You start day dreaming about the perfect future - marrying your perfect partner, buying a big house, or crushing your presentation at work. You might feel a spark of excitement. This gets you motivated and sets you on the track of perfectionism.
Fear & Doubt: Then the fear and doubt start to creep in. When the only option is 150% all of the time, you may start to feel overwhelmed or anxious and begin questioning whether you’re good enough to make that happen.
Self Sabotage: This leads to self sabotage. It can be hard to know where to start when you’re busy criticizing yourself. And if you don’t know how to do it perfectly, why bother at all? In this stage it’s super normal to feel overwhelmed, indecisive, or lose focus and motivation.
Alright, so clearly perfectionism is a problem.
What can you do about it?
Recognize that perfectionism is a behavior that you do. And the good thing is that we can totally change our behaviors. Perfectionism is not who you are, so drop the label. Spend some time self-reflecting and ask yourself these questions (bonus points if you write down your responses with a pen and paper!).
What situations really bring out my perfectionist behavior?
When do I not feel good enough?
How did I learn that I was not good enough?
How does perfectionism help me?
How is perfectionism holding me back?
Try daily affirmations. Write them down on sticky notes and put them on your mirror or laptop. Find a cute graphic and make it your phone background. Idc where you put them, just put them somewhere you will see them EVERY DAY. It takes time and practice to change your internal self talk. Here are some of my fav affirmations!
I am enough
I do not have to prove my worth. I am inherently worthy.
I accept myself no matter what.
My flaws add flavor (my personal fav!)
I will be kind to myself
Unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel like shit. Remember, Instagram is a highlight reel. Don't compare your worst moments to someone else's carefully curated best moments. Follow accounts that bring you up - check me out on Instagram @sitwithkelly
Set boundaries for yourself. If you have a tendency to strive for perfection when completing a work or school related task, schedule a set amount of time to work on it. Set a timer, hit save when it goes off, and put it out into the world AS IS. I gave myself 30 minutes to write this newsletter. While I could've spent all day on it, I think this is good enough :)
Practice makes perfect...I mean...practice makes good enough. Pick one thing a day that you will commit to not doing perfectly. Do a good enough job with it. Pay attention and notice - How did you feel during and afterwards? Was the outcome any different? Was your boss pissed? Did you get a bad grade? Or did everything turn out okay.
Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as legal, financial, or medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional advice of your own attorney, accountant, physician, or financial advisor. Always check with your own physician, attorney, financial advisor, accountant, or other business or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
