How to Stop Overthinking
Recognizing overthinking and how to stop
We all worry about things we can't control. When we're up there - in our heads - it's easy to feel like we're getting somewhere. We think if we just replay that same awkward conversation with our boss or new crush at the gym one more time, we can almost fix it.
But the thing is, we're not solving any problems by overthinking. More than likely, we're only creating new ones.
Overthinking can damage our mental health, but it's not always easy to know when we're doing it. Here are some thoughts and patterns to pay attention to as the first step in putting an end to overthinking.
You aren't finding solutions; you're dwelling.
We're not exactly thinking when overthinking, as nonsensical as that sounds. Instead, we're usually caught in a state of rumination or imagination, replaying every little thing that could have gone differently or rehearsing what could go wrong the next time.
If overthinking, you're likely preoccupied with uncomfortable emotions or negative self-talk rather than the task or problem. When our heads get stuck in the past or future, it detracts our mental energy, making it hard to take productive action; it also clouds our mental clarity, keeping us from seeing what to focus on in the first place.
How to stop it: Replace your "what ifs."
Whenever you think, "what if this happens," force yourself to ask, "What steps can I take to deal with that problem"? This simple reframe can help you move from worrying to solving.
You're procrastinating again.
When we overthink, we tend to fixate on the potential consequences of our actions rather than the actual situation at hand. We might worry that taking a certain action will lead to a negative or undesired outcome, even if there's no evidence to support our belief. If we're constantly worried about what may or not happen, we'll never get anything done.
How to stop it: Set up a time to worry.
Take 20 minutes (give or take) to allow yourself to think about or write down everything that is stressing you out or causing doubt. Once you've designated this worrying time, do your best to put those thoughts out of your mind for the rest of the day. If a worry pops up, jot it down, so you don't forget, then get back to what you were doing.
Your thoughts are on auto-repeat.
If your mind feels stuck on a never-ending loop of the same thought or worry, you might be overthinking. This is usually a sign that we're anxious about something or trying to talk ourselves out of our feelings. This only serves to amplify any negative emotions we're feeling and can make it hard to focus on anything else.
How to stop it: Practice deep breathing.
Slow, deep breaths help calm our nervous system and break the cycle of overthinking. When we're anxious or stressed, our breathing becomes shallower and faster, making us feel worse. Deep breathing helps to slow down our thoughts and can be a helpful tool in managing anxiety and stress.
You're second-guessing your decisions.
Just as overthinking is not the same as healthy problem-solving, it's also not just a little helpful re-hashing. Some self-reflection in the aftermath of a mistake or perceived missed opportunity is a good thing. The past can motivate us to do things differently in the future, but we need to take a mental note of it and move on, rather than mental replays that hold us back.
Doubting yourself and second-guessing decisions can lead to feelings of anxiety and indecisiveness. It can rob us of our ability to trust ourselves and our gut instincts.
How to stop it: Accept that you're human.
No one is perfect, and that's okay. We all make mistakes, and we will all continue to make them. What's important is that we learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them.
When you second-guess a decision, remind yourself that you're doing the best you can with the information you have. Trust yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes your way.
How to break the overthinking cycle for good.
When we overthink, we might not intend to fixate on our mistakes, shortcomings, or problems, but we do. The more we wind up in this negative headspace, our minds swarming with anxiety, stress, or shame, the harder it becomes to break this unhealthy cycle.
Check out my self-paced course Breakup With Anxiety, to learn 10 new coping skills to stop overthinking for good.
If you’re still struggling to break this habit, therapy is another great resource to help develop tips and skills unique to your needs. So if you need some help, don't overthink it. You can break the cycle with practice and patience.
Are you looking for more physical changes you can make to reduce anxiety? Check out my blog post to learn how improving your gut health can improve your anxiety.
Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as legal, financial, or medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional advice of your own attorney, accountant, physician, or financial advisor. Always check with your own physician, attorney, financial advisor, accountant, or other business or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
