Phone calls make you anxious?
How to Overcome Social Anxiety About Making Phone Calls
Phone phobia - it’s much more common than you might think. It’s the reason you are so quick to think up an excuse as to why you can’t make the call to schedule a doctor’s appointment or find out if a restaurant can seat your group of 10. It’s the fear that keeps you from calling family members or friends, even though you know them well. Your hesitance to make or receive phone calls can trigger severe anxiety symptoms like a racing heart, nausea, or shortness of breath.
Phone anxiety is common among people with Social Anxiety Disorder. Anxiety about making phone calls can demonstrate potential issues with social interaction in general. In other cases, those who do not have SAD can still have phone phobia but may just prefer talking to people face-to-face, so they know they aren’t bothering someone and can read their non-verbal cues. This is super common with Millennials and Gen Z - because we’re a generation used to texting, not calling!
Here are a few ways to cope with your anxiety over making phone calls:
Prepare for it
You don’t need to write out a detailed script, but a little preparedness can go a long way when it comes to any kind of anxiety. It helps eliminate the worry over you saying the wrong thing or forgetting what to say, which will also help you avoid having to call back again (yikes!)
Part of preparing for a phone call also means accepting that you can’t prepare for everything. Go into it knowing it likely won’t go exactly as planned, and that’s okay.
One sticky note with a few bullet points is all you need to get through this.
Don’t overthink it
It’s much easier for us to experience anxiety when we don’t have all the answers. So when it comes to phone calls, you might spend unnecessary time worrying about what the other person is thinking since you cannot see their facial expressions. This is called overthinking, and it never helped anyone. Sure, it might sting a bit if the person on the other line says no to a question or request, but everyone is entitled to their answers or opinions, just like you. Put yourself in their shoes and try not to take anything personally.
Think about what could go wrong
Understand what it is you are the most afraid of. Don’t overthink it, of course; just bring awareness to it. Is it stuttering or something else?
This practice is not necessarily about planning what could go wrong, so you can try to perfect it or avoid it once the call begins; it’s about coming to terms beforehand with the fact that messing up is possible. Take some moments before the call to acknowledge that nobody is perfect and remind yourself you are not alone if you fear getting rejected or losing your train of thought.
Focus on the other person
The majority of people love talking about themselves, even if they will never admit it. Use this to your advantage, and focus more on them than what you sound like or what could go wrong. Be personable, and ask them a question about their life or how they are doing. If it helps, write down a question or two beforehand to ask if it fits into the conservation happening, or you experience awkward pauses. A few examples of questions to keep the conversation going are:
What was the highlight of your week?
What are you doing this weekend?
What’s been keeping you busy lately?
Visualize a successful conversation
Use visualization techniques to imagine your conversation going successfully and smoothly. Close your eyes and visualize yourself feeling confident and content afterward, then perhaps rewarding yourself by doing something that you enjoy - no matter how it goes.
Take a deep breath
By now, you’ve typed the phone number into your phone and just need to press that dreaded call button. You’ve visualized a successful conversation but your heart is still racing and the thoughts in your mind are moving rapidly. Take a deep breath in and out (or a few!) to lower your heart rate which will calm your body making you feel less anxious about your upcoming phone call.
Stop avoiding it and make the call
Every time we avoid something that makes us anxious, we send a subtle message to our brain that our anxious thoughts are accurate. Avoiding something reinforces the anxiety and makes us even more convinced that we should be anxious. In reality, there’s not a lot of risk with making a phone call, and I’m super confident you can do it. Next time, try making the call and showing your anxiety who’s boss.
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Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as legal, financial, or medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional advice of your own attorney, accountant, physician, or financial advisor. Always check with your own physician, attorney, financial advisor, accountant, or other business or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here.
